Loving Intentionally

Advent Week 4—LOVE

By Kaye Saxon

1 John 3:23-24 NLT

²³ And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. ²⁴ Those who obey God’s commandments remain in fellowship with him, and he with them. And we know he lives in us because the Spirit he gave us lives in us.

2 John 5-6 NLT

5 I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning. 6 Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning.

Galatians 5:13-14 NLT

13 For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. 14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

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Loving Intentionally

By Kaye Saxon

I woke up the other morning with a bit of a gut punch.  I had the awful realization that in a matter of days my oldest daughter and my oldest granddaughter would be leaving for Las Vegas.  Not for a visit.  They were moving.

Waves of panic and regret began to sweep over me.  What was I doing the other night when my granddaughter was here?  She was playing with her cousins.   I was busy with chores and then sitting on couch mindlessly scrolling my phone.  How many nights had she stayed here in my home, and I had missed opportunity after opportunity to play a game with her, start a meaningful conversation, ask her what she thought about life?  How many moments had I squandered?   And the same with my daughter?  How much quality time had we really been spending together?  How many moments were lost?  In the busyness of life – what real quality conversations had been had?  How had I displayed or conveyed love to her?

I realized the same about my sisters.  I have two.  I see one on the regular and the other rarely.  We all live within probably 15 miles of each other.  How much effort have I really put out there to seek meaningful connection?   The sister I don’t see often is moving out of the country soon for most of the year.  I will have even more limited access.  And am I really loving on either of them as I could?

My parents are aging.  I see them once a week, sometimes for a fleeting instance as I give them a hug and drop off a dozen or so eggs.   When was the last time I savored their company? When was the last time I just relaxed in their presence?

The question is – how much more time do I have with any of them?  We are ALL aging.  How much do I take the people in my life for granted, or the time I have with them for granted?  We don’t know how much time we have.   

Matthew 24:36 NLT

“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.“

This verse refers to the coming of the Lord, but it applies to the time we have on earth as well.  We don’t know how much time we have.  I should be thinking more about whether I will be enjoying them after this life.  Where will THEY be spending eternity?  What could I have said or done to be the light that brings the revelation of the salvation of Christ to those that aren’t certain of their future?

I’m not saying I don’t spend time with the people I love, or that much of the time isn’t spent serving them in some way.  That is also showing them love.  But I guess today, I am reflecting on quality, on opportunity, on mission.  What does it mean to REALLY love my neighbor, my people, my family?   How intentional am I really being?  

I know I can do better.  And God doesn’t give this greatest of commandments aimlessly.  It brings peace and fullness of life: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

⁸ Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

Again, I reflect on, what does it mean to love my neighbor?  Recently I was given the opportunity to show love.  I thought I was doing it.  I assumed that what the person needed was solutions.  I assumed they wanted advice.  I assumed they wanted me to make their decisions for them.   But in the end, after lots of misunderstanding and hurt, I realized they just needed me to ask: “What do you need?  How can I help?”   It takes intentional vulnerability to throw yourself out there like that.  It seems so simple, yet it can also be frightening.  Fear and love can’t really coexist though.  

 1 John 4:18 ESV

¹⁸ There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

All this to say that as I reflect on love, I KNOW I can do better.  I need to ask people what they need when they invite me into their situations.  I need to be intentional about loving the ones that are close to me, because I never know when this will be my last opportunity to love them.   God send His son as a sacrifice for our sin so that we might have life, in the greatest example of love ever.   I should love the people around me enough to share that with them.   They need some of that love too.

Reflect:

Has Holy Spirit been highlighting someone He wants you to be more intentional about loving well? If so, spend a few moments brainstorming with Him what that might look like.

Pray with me:

Father, thank you for your perfect love.   Thank you that you loved me so much that you sent your son to die for me that I might have access to life with you eternally.  Please help me to be perfected in your love.  Please help me to love perfectly.  Help me to not only be willing to lay myself, my wants, and my control down for the sake of loving others, but to do so intentionally.  Let your spirit guide me in truth and in all the aspects of love.  Help me to be patient and kind, not jealous, boastful or proud or rude.  Help me to keep my eyes off myself and to not be stubborn, irritable or full of self-pity.   Let me rejoice in truth, not give up, lose faith or lose hope, but instead endure in all circumstances.  Teach me to love my neighbor well.  In Jesus name, Amen.